Something I wanted to blog about today is around relationships in your twenties, and how it can be so difficult to understand what’s right, what’s wrong, and what you want. It’s navigating endless waters and different turns, not knowing what’s around each bend. And I’m not even talking romantic relationships, but all important connections that you make during this time.
I think what makes relationships so difficult in your early twenties is that there is no ‘benchmark’ to tell you where you should be. There is no normal. I have friends who are married, friends with kids, some who’ve never been kissed, and some who are still figuring out what they identify as and how to express their sexuality.
I know people who have amazing relationships with their parents, and some who never bother to call their mom anymore. There’s those who still have a curfew well into adulthood and those who have had to be their own parent for over a decade.
I have friends who call in every day to check-in, and some I haven’t seen in a very long time. There’s those that were only there when it was convenient and those that would cross oceans to spend an hour together.
But no matter what, it’s important to recognize that all of these different types of connections that you have in your life right now are normal…for you. There is no marker that you need to be at right now, there is no right number of friends, phone calls, boyfriends, etc. that you need to have.
And I think the most important relationship you should be nurturing and cultivating right now, regardless of what stage in your life you’re at, is the relationship with YOURSELF. You have to be confidently, effortlessly, and humbly in love with yourself before you can truly nurture those other connections in your life.
Your twenties are for figuring out what you want, where you want to be, and what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. When you figure that out, the rest will come easy. You’ll attract the significant other or friend or job, or whatever it is when you put that energy out into the world. I know that sounds super corny, but it’s absolutely 100% true.
There are days that you will falter, there are days that you may be a horrible daughter, a crappy girlfriend, a terrible best friend, and a half-ass employee. But you get back up on your horse and you work on yourself. You can never give 100% to every role you play, but you can give full effort to nurturing yourself and radiating the most positive, altruistic energy you can into the world. And when you do that, it’s much easier to effortlessly foster those relationships around you, and succeed in the areas you want to.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, that no matter what you’re doing right now, it’s all right. It’s ok to take a deep breath, and just be you. I’ve been getting a bit down with the thought of Tomas leaving for school again in a few weeks, and I’ve missed some of my best friends who no longer live here. Sometimes I feel like I bug my parents too much, and other times I feel that I’m not around nearly as much as I should be. Sometimes I cringe at the thought of having to do long distance for another year, and sometimes I wonder if I’m doing enough for the people in my life.
But shoving all that anxiety and unknown aside, I know it’s going to be alright in the end. And you will be too! Just keep trucking, ramblers.