Sorry, it’s been a while. I’ve been rather heads down, focusing on work, running, and myself lately (and Anne will tell you the same whenever she gets a moment to breathe and start blogging again!). This blog isn’t a particular piece like usual, more of a thinking-out-loud journal entry. And perhaps, my thinking will trigger something good for you as well, wherever you’re at in life right now.
I’ve been concentrating a lot of self-reflection lately. I came to the realization that for the first time in 2020 (coming out of a LONG string of unfortunate life events the past seven months)…I am happy. 100%, genuinely happy with myself and my life.
Now as someone who was only ever happy before, it was hard to recall what that felt like when it was absent in my life for the last half of the year. But the other day it hit me, a simple relaxed feeling of content being, a peacefulness that I hadn’t realized was previously missing from my life. I feel truly blessed, lucky, and grateful to be surrounded by an amazing family, friends I truly treasure, a job I enjoy, and good health (which is a scarcity nowadays as I’m sure many of you know).
It was a long road, and to be honest, it’s a continuous road for everyone (myself included). It took therapy, a gracious support system, a lot of staring my own issues in the mirror, and a healthy amount of outdoor time as my own personal choice of healing. I’m happy with myself, the life I created, and the adventures yet to come. Society should celebrate this feeling more frequently because I often fear a lot of us don’t until it's too far gone.
Happiness came back when I finally accepted the human condition of feeling things in duality. I used to think I should only feel one thing at a time and toss the other feeling out the window. That sadness, remorse, happiness, interest, frustration, and confusion could not coexist peacefully. It took me a long time to accept that we can often feel a lot of contrasting feelings about an issue and that none of them are wrong.
It also took me a long time to realize that the human condition thrives off of vulnerability, and as hard as it is to be vulnerable after a period of hurt or adversity in life, it’s all the more vital. Vulnerability is the key to unlocking all the greatest joys in life, from innovation and creation to love, happiness, and discovery. A lot of my personal happiness these last few months has come from forcing myself to be as vulnerable as possible with my loved ones and with myself. It continues to be scary, but it continues to pay off, and I highly recommend practicing it in your own search for happiness.
Happiness is forever something to be sought, but few ever discuss achieving it. It’s a hard thing to grasp, a slippery thing that comes and goes in waves. It dissipates as quickly as it appeared, and life often throws one wrench after another, threatening that happiness. So I think it’s important to acknowledge when we see it, when we feel it, however how small. Treasure it and hold on as tight as you can.
Also—recognize that it comes from within. No amount of external things will fill your happiness bucket, you have to do the work to patch the holes and fill it back to the brim. Anyways, I just wanted to share that my happiness bucket is full again, and I hope for those of you reading this, that yours is too.
That’s all for now!
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.